Are We in a REAL-a-tionship?
Ahhh…the quest to find and be in an ideal romantic relationship, one that lasts forever, with your life-long partner, your soulmate. Since the dawn of humanity, the desire and need to find your true mate has been an integral part of our existence. But what is an ideal relationship? The vast majority of us don’t find our life-long partner on our first attempt…second attempt…third??? Some of us never find that person. Why is it so difficult for many of us?
There’s actually a very simple and basic answer to this proverbial question. The answer is: every relationship is doomed to fail if it does not begin as a real relationship…a REALationship. We enter a relationship with good intentions for the most part. However, because we’ve grown accustomed to denying our inner truths, we inherently don’t interact in the most honest way, whereby meaningful and truthful connections are not made. Communication is barely below the superficial level. We are afraid to dig deeper into the strata of communication and make a soulful connection because we are afraid of what we’ll find in the other person and in ourselves.
Unfortunately, it’s not until we’ve been through a few relationships when we finally drop our “act” and realize the simplicity of just being honest, being ourselves. At this point, we have learned from our many mistakes committed in prior relationships and are finally fed-up with the ridiculous cycle of starting and breaking a relationship. Once that happens, we basically say “f*ck it” to ourselves and arrive at our next partner with our real, authentic selves. Take it or leave it, this is who I am. That becomes the mantra.
In that case, doesn’t it make sense that if we simply embody this approach from the start, we would then find our REALationship much sooner? Of course that makes perfect sense! But humans are averse to common sense, most of the time, usually. We have this blinded need and compunction to traverse on a mistaken course until we commit the mistake ourselves. There’s no need for that. It’s foolish and futile at the core.
Stop playing games and just be your authentic self from the moment you meet someone. If they don’t like it, great! You’ve wasted no time and you can move on to the next person until you unearth your match in a soulmate. It’s time to change your perspective on dating. It’s time to accept the real paradigm, the one that is simple and makes sense.
From now on, simply change your permanent mindset on how you view a relationship. View it as a REALationship! Just the vision of this word alone will start to shift your perspective. Once you destroy your old, dysfunctional paradigm for this new one, one in which it truly has to be a REAL relationship in every sense of the word, that paradigm shift will make ALL the difference. It will naturally create the open and safe space that you need for your relationship to be successful, healthy and long-term. Both parties need to feel safe, nurtured and protected in a free and open space between them. This is when a relationship will have the strongest chance of being the last one you will ever have….a REALationship.
So are YOU in a REALationship? If not, you’re just simply waiting for the impending and inevitable break-up. It WILL happen, 100%. Now that’s just silly. So stop the madness. Be REAL, be you…and say f*ck it! This is the real me, take it or leave it!